Unnatural Light (2011)

by Chris Gillespie

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It’s a dog’s life If I stare long enough to the door of your heart I can will it open It’s a fools walk but I know that I’ve got a head start Everybody’s going out I can smell that sweet perfume As soon as you leave the room I will have my day The things that matter to you – they don’t matter to me And we will be apart but your thoughts and your heart will be with me Everyday at three o’clock I come out to meet with you Though I look like a fool, I will have my day. My way. It’s a dogs life. Circling the house. Ghosts in the windows I found somewhere safe to bury my bone where I can be my own And if I were you, I know I’d have done the same And if you were me you might have your way. Your day.
Something often eludes me, calling me faintly out of reach Something always escapes me beckoning faintly follow me Where is the place that I live? Is it on a map? Why can’t I get any sleep at night? The unnatural light wakes me up It shouldn’t be there Shouldn’t be there Something often awaits me Irritates me But I always find my way on time The unnatural light travels by night It shouldn’t be there Shouldn’t be there
I just heard Blind Freddie Gillespie died At half past ten on Sunday night, he must’ve given up the fight I didn’t know him very well. I can’t say that we were close But it’s still gonna be empty around here and I’m not gonna sleep tonight People are like washing windows - each wants to blame the other side You might say that I’m blind but I can still see what’s right You’re just about to break and the brakes are just about to fail Well I stayed at your house in the bed you made The flannel sheets were old and musty But I couldn’t sleep. The trucks were flying down the highway and the rain was leaking through the ceiling warped and rusty And those old glass shutters next to one another they spread the high beams out across the walls An open loaf of Kelly’s on the bench, the empty bottles and the cigarette stench I’m never gonna stay there again. That’s for sure I met a girl from WA We’re gonna get married and move away Buy a house and settle down somewhere I’ve just gotta get out of this town the memories are bringin’ me down So where I wind up I don’t care Because now I talk to you all the time When I’ve had too much to drink You must be the hole in me Every time my life drips down the sink Tomorrow I’m gonna give up drinkin’ Yesterday’s got me thinkn’ Today I’m gonna make myself a deal No more boozin’ all the time or you wind up bedridden goin’ blind ‘coz I can drink enough for both of us the way I feel I’m just about to break And the brakes are just about to fail Yes, I’m just about to brake And the brakes are just about to fail I just heard, I just heard
Declaration 02:58
I sent these words to you tonight Right now they’re being saved on a strangers hard drive on somebody else’s computer In Holland or France they’re stored With somebody smoking a cigarette and replacing motherboards And tomorrow morning, you’ll click ‘read message’ and the words will be retrieved And from that moment on things will never be the same between you and me I don’t know how you’re gonna take it I honestly don’t know But I just have to tell you because I can’t keep it from you anymore It says ‘I tried to grow out of this like I have before. But that was a year ago and things are the same I don’t want you to take this the wrong way You’re everything to me. You’re everything that feels right And I know that love isn’t real but I don’t know what else to feel I tried to grow out of this like I did before And that’s how it goes I cut it off and it grows back like a rose
I’ve been up all night lost and tired, lost and tired And then the dawn chorus begins to sing, begins to sing “There’s no fucking way we will be beaten not while there is still sun There’s no fucking way we will lay down not while I can feed my own We won’t miss the new dawn It’s dawn now, but not forever So until tomorrow... It was never easy for me It’s never easy for you And even if my will is gone There’s no fucking way you will take me I live apart from you you can take the world and then it’s on your shoulders while I’m still alive and the sun still rises There’s no fucking way you will silence us No fucking way No fucking way There’s no fucking way you will bring us down No fucking way The Earth is mine The Dawn is mine The Air is mine The Morning is mine The audible space is mine”
Autumn Winds 03:15
The autumn winds can carry me away ‘Coz I’m tired of the things I have to face today The autumn winds can carry me along lose me in the mountain range so they can say I’ve gone I’ll find rest in the mountains blue, far away from you where my body lie becoming part of the ground, forever looking at the sky and to finally be still and let passers pass me by and be on their way for there’s only one place where I’m gonna stay today Undisturbed and finished. I’ll lie throughout the day While people eat and drink in town three kilometres away They don’t know about me That this is where I died all they care about is finishing their cigarette so they can get back inside Time didn’t wait for me to make up my mind It just said to me straight – I’m not supposed to be kind. All throughout the winter. It doesn’t matter anymore The comfort and the wages and the lust to take more For now I’m just like an old dead tree Cut down and lying mute for no one else to see Becoming less and less like me
(Previously released as ‘The Road To Tamworth’) You’re still two hours north of me With the kids in the lounge room and a cup of tea and you’re worried about me I know A roast is in the oven kept on low Is the road to Tamworth dangerous on a Friday night? With all the trucks and bends and tired eyes with poor sight I’ll have to keep singing to stay awake My mind’s already asleep with you but my heart can’t take a break If blue is the colour you see when you look up It’s better than looking back Persistence of memory and all that is left for me And by the time I reach the Dubbo turnoff I feel a long way from home Well, everybody’s lonely but no ones alone And I’m driving up the New England Highway And I’m listening to Radio National There’s a man singing a song. I’m not sure what it’s about ‘It was the world within that saved me from the world without... It was the world within that saved me from the world without...’ What is it that you see if you look out? Even the road looks good after the rain How can I walk away from myself as if I’m someone else? Blue is the colour you see when you look up It’s better than looking back Persistence of memory is all that is left of me How can I walk away? You see, you are a part of me
There’s a teapot on the table and there’s milk in the fridge The sugar, tea and coffee - all in coloured tins Two chairs in the kitchen, orange cake in the cupboard Noises come and go. The house creaks and cars drive by slow I left you a very long time ago I haven’t sat with you for 20 years But I’m still here. I’m still here. I’m here in the air, in the carpet. I’m on the tiles, across the lawn You’ll find me where the dogs are buried You won’t get me out of these walls Everything I ever thought floats on through the hall When I was alone at night I cursed and many names did I call. Those names ring throughout the water pipes There’s my photo on your wall but I haven’t gone at all Not at all. And the steps that lead to the garden shed, Your Father built those before you were born The clothesline stands at an angle The wire is bent and worn The tools are mine. Sawdust I made The wireless was my only friend And in my last moments I did love you though I fought you until the end. I left you a very long time ago There’s my photograph upon your wall I haven’t sat with you for 20 years But I’m still here. I’m still here.
It was years ago but I remember well Your invite to dine at 27 O’dell You cooked soup and dessert I ate so well You took along time I could tell It was cold outside In the foggy air We talked in front of the fire under the stair You poured another red Thankyou I said And continued to gaze into the glare As I was thinking of something to say You were looking my way You legs curled up, your head rested in your hands Why that picture stays with me I don’t understand Everything inside since the day that I was born was with me at that time and I felt so warm I reached out and touched your chin you took my hand and pulled it in To rest upon your stomach on knitted wool I felt that I was home Beautiful No matter what happens to me or what I do I’ll not forget the way you took my hand like you needed to And though it only lasted a little while I was glad to give my hand to one so lovely and fragile Everything inside since the day that I was born Was calling me that night like so many nights before Everything inside since the day that I was born was with me at that time and I felt so warm We fell asleep on the lounge I didn’t move until the morning came around When I awoke you’d left already that day I heard your rooster crow as I drove away
Who in the hell wouldn’t love you? Wouldn’t give himself to you Who wouldn’t love you at first sight? Wouldn’t give you his days and his nights? Only a mad bastard would refuse your hand Only a masochist would look right past you woman You fell in unrequited love? I seriously doubt it who was he? I can’t bear to think about it That such an idiot could be among us now on our streets driving a car Would he even know how? Open the door first Then turn the key He’s a moron He’ failed miserably When such a rare and beautiful thing came blowing his way ‘I don’t think so’ Is that all that he could say? Who wouldn’t see you and want to weep because they’ve seen themselves and the emptiness they keep Who wouldn’t want to give you anything at all? Anything you ask Any name you care to call No one He’s no one.
Name 04:08
I wanted to tell you what you mean to me I wanted to say before I set you free There’s nothing in a name my words cannot say my battle will be fought until my dying day Monday morning. The car won’t start The fog is thick and the air is cold now we are apart but not everything is set and nothing is decided I’ve been running my whole life but somehow I’m not tired Your name is written my name is moving at a thousand miles a second Somewhere I wanted to tell you that you don’t understand I hold you so close I’ve carved you in my hand But you don’t see me here Now I’m everywhere You don’t hear me singing across the crazy cold night air I rise in the east I set in the west I see you sleeping but one day you’ll find your rest


The latest release from Sydney / Blue Mountains independent artist Chris Gillespie.
Watch the Unnatural Light Music Video
Follow Chris Gillespie on Facebook www.facebook.com/chrisgillespiemusicpage


released November 28, 2011

© 2011 Chris Gillespie
Engineered and produced by Chris Gillespie.
Mixed by Chris Gillespie except ‘Patch the Whippet’ (mixed by Wayne Connolly).
Vocals, guitars, harmonica, upright bass, dobro, jaws harp, ukelele, banjo, keys – Chris Gillespie
Mandolin & Harmony vocals – Matt Luciano / Bass & Harmony vocals – Ben Hazlett
Drums – Reuben James Alexander, Julia Day on ‘Declaration’, Matt Luciano on ‘Patch the Whippet’, Djembe – Rose Kang
Cellos – Sophie Glasson / Pedal Steel – Michel Rose / Violins – Mike Kerrin


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Chris Gillespie Sydney, Australia

An artist from the Blue Mountains of NSW. His songs are beautiful, bursting with observational yearning. “A fingerpickin’, harmonica playing troubadour... ‘Sydney’s answer to Bob Dylan'
(Dave Regos - FBi Radio) Gillespie is renowned for his song writing craft.
“I really like this tune (Unnatural Light).. it’s incredibly catchy with a little bit of a Josh Pyke vibe..”
Rosie Beaton - Triple J
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